P00R COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN

“Oh my God, Kingsley you cannot kill me, I did not kill my parents, is there anything we have not done for you in this house yet what do we get in return? Answer me, this son of mine! Yelled the frustrated mother. ‘Disrespect, laziness, all you know is watching television, pressing phone, eating. There is no single work given to you to do, that you do well, I am tired of you’! Still yelling Mrs Edet went out calling the husband, to complain of their son’s bad behaviours. In another scenario. “When you people resume next term, I am going to find out from your school management the kind of training they give you’, fumed Mr Okafor, ‘take a look at your room and see how dirty it is, you cannot sweep and tidy where you sleep in’? ‘Are you expecting your mother and me to come and tidy your room for you? See how dirty my car is, you wait for me to tell you to wash it before you do that. Hmmm children of this generation I don’t know where you are heading to! Anyway I know what to do. I am going to cut your pocket money as well as your provision, I will seize your phone, {after all I bought the phone and buy the air time} until you become more responsible’! Concluded a visibly angry Mr Okafor.

The above scenes are just few of what happen in families between the children, especially the youths and their parents. In some cases the situation could be worse to the extent of involving physical punishments where the children are flogged with all kinds of weapon, cane, belt, electric wire, in some real ugly situations mothers use their high heeled shoes! There are cases where the children are called names so negative that such children begin to doubt if the parents are truly their biological ones. Correcting a child is one of the effective tools used in raising up children. The issue then is how it is done so as to achieve the desired effect.

Looking at the above scenes, Mrs Edet was just recounting all the good things the son does not deserve that they have done for him and at the same time intimidating him with his shortfalls, she did not even pause to hear from the son, it did not matter to her how he might have felt. Neither did she care if by talking to him in such manner his personality will be wounded.  She is his mother and has all the right to talk to the son as annoyingly as she felt. End result she is angrier because the son failed to behave the way she desired. The son goes withdraws emotionally, he sees the home to be hostile, and his mom insensitive to his feelings. Your guess is as good as mine the kind of young man Kingsley will grow up to be. Both Mother and son could not meet because there was no COMMUNICATION. When there is open and effective communications all parties will be able to carry each other along.

In the case of Mr Okafor, again the offences are listed, judgement passed with punishment without allowing the children to even utter a word, and he too believe they do not have the right to say anything. Of course children should as a matter or responsibility keep the house clean among other household chores, however in situations where they fail, name calling or stripping them with words and even actions that affect their personalities cannot be better than the responsibility they failed to carry out.

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