Parents wonder why their children grow ill-mannered even after so many years of teaching them good manners. Every parent dream of a polite child who uses his or her magic words (please, thank you, excuse me, sorry, and pardon me) appropriately. Manners comes easily to some children while others struggle so understanding your child is pertinent. Notwithstanding there are some secrets to raising a child in a way every parent desires.
START EARLY BUT DON’T FORCE IT
Even a 24month old child should be able to say “thank you” even though they don’t yet understand the social graciousness of the word and say “tanku” instead of “thank you”, at least you’ve planted the social nicety into your child’s vocabulary; even before the child grasps the meaning of the word she learns they are important because mum and dad use them a lot. Manners are skills you should enjoy not forced. When you remind a child to say “thank you“ do so as part of good speech not as a requirement of getting what he wants or the child may tire to say these polite words before he understands them. Don’t force nor push it, let it come naturally.
Be the adult you want your child to be: when children see you behaving well, they’ll do the same. You don’t expect your child to see you misbehave and do the opposite, of course they will also misbehave. Let your child hear a lot of polite words as you interact with people throughout the day. And address the child with the same politeness you do an adult.
Correct politely: when a child misbehaves, you shouldn’t rant and rain insults on them like “are you dumb”. Instead keep your voice modulated and pick your choice of word while correcting them or they might start using those words on their fellow. Correcting them politely shows you value them and wants the best for them. Have you ever wondered why some children are so polite? It’s because they are brought up in an environment that expects good manners.
SET FIRM RULES
A community where there is no law, there is no sin. This also applies when training your child. Children who believes they can do anything they feel like doing and get whatever they want, tend to be the ones throwing tantrum when their demands aren’t meant but those who know that they have well-defined boundaries learn how to self-regulate and respect limits.
You don’t have to give your children in-depth explanation for why you expect certain behaviour from them. But if your child understands that there are simple reasons for your rule, they will realize they aren’t random and will be more likely to comply. For example, tell him, “You need to take dinner at six o’clock to avoid a pain in your tummy”. To be continued.
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