Parenting these days can be very challenging especially with the constant battle for economic survival. We need to help each other to achieve this noble vocation of parenting. A priest once said: A person isn’t born knowing how to be a father or mother, a husband or wife; we need to learn this ourselves and help other spouses and parents to do so. Families who help other families!
Modern parenting should be seen as a collective work and not for individual family alone, this way we work to win and lose battles together. So here are five mistakes parents should not make:
- Not giving your child enough opportunity to consistently grow
When we fail to give our children enough opportunity to grow, they develop an addiction to watching TV, playing games, going on social media, iPads and computers for hours on end. Some of these children find their school work uninteresting and they under perform. They develop low confidence, low self esteem that they have little motivation to succeed in life and actually grow up to live a mediocre life. They end up developing a negative mind-set and victim mentality, while justifying their mediocre lifestyles.The flip-side is that parents who don’t indulge their children with too much entertainment have a different mind-set towards growth. These parents allow their children reasonable time to engage in entertainment while also allowing them time to focus on what they need to achieve for the future. Most parents to do not give quality time to their children.
Parents are amazing but they get too tired and exhausted after a hard day’s work that they don’t have enough energy to help them develop to the next level. What happens is that time flies and then it becomes too late to undo or unlearn bad habits. The child grows up to be influenced by society or by negative role models. This results to rebelling against parents due to lack of trust and connection.
On the flip-side, parents who give quality time to their children work with their children on fun and exciting projects. They help their children overcome their weaknesses, build on their strengths and help them when they fail. The parents’ help play a key role in ensuring that the children are fully prepared for life as adults. The child grows up in confidence and not dependent on other people or things to live a happier and successful life.
3. Developing their child to work in a company compared to developing them to own a company.
So parents and their children have huge pressure to see the child successful in school. Most parents give little attention to how to become entrepreneurs or understand how money works, instead wait for them to complete their education- a system that has been created to develop workers not entrepreneurs. What happens is that most students leave universities not understanding how money works. The end result is, as the child receives income they spend it without knowing how to manage their income or paying off debts, they struggle to get a job. These are the reasons many get into financial difficulties later in life.
The flip-side is that parents who have taught their children financial management, understand that they have to go beyond the school education system and help their children develop a mind-set of managing their money at a young age. They work together with the child to launch a business which helps to grow them in confidence, find a passion, learn how to handle setbacks, grow to be result focused and become high achieving individuals.
These children learn how to invest, allocate fund to their needs and contribute to the society by giving to charity. By the time they leave the university, they would have had a clear path and vision on where they want to go and have the confidence and understanding on how to get there.
After university education, even when they want to pursue a career path, they would have a mind-set and the skills to achieve at the highest levels.
4. Teaching your children how to handle situations.
Most parents do not teach their children how to handle situations that they may come across such as dealing with somebody who is insultive, physically or sexually harming them. Some children who go through difficult situations result to silence and avoid connecting with others speaking about their problems. Other children result to violence, use of harmful substances and develop a negative perception about society. This defines the character and person as adults.
The flip-side is that parents who teach their children how to handle situations, ensure that their children become street wise and they learn how to handle different situations that life throws at them even before they actually occur. By understanding positive and negative situations, they grow in self-confidence and learn how to control emotions. They learn how to connect with different people in different situations and negotiate their way through life, getting what they want.
5. Avoiding opportunities.
Most parents hold their children back from opportunities due to fear of loss or failure they have experienced. Children learn this trait and they themselves become unaware of opportunities around them. This results to a child growing up with an attitude of risk avoidance, live a middling life and not having the drive or confidence to fulfil their own potential.
The flip-side is that there are parents who go and take opportunities that come their way. Parents who want the best opportunities for their children are willing to invest in their children’s future. At an early age they give them the experiences to develop them into the leaders of the future. They develop a powerful attitude and self-confidence believing they can and will achieve amazing things in life.
What are we waiting for, arise and shine with your children to make a better and safer society!
This is Chinelo Ujubuoñu saying Ozuzuamaka: Good upbringing is Golden.
For parenting workshops and personal development seminars for parents, school administrators and teachers contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org